“Do most guys continue to search the dating sites for “friends” when they first start seeing someone? I thought I was on a movie date a couple weeks ago until I saw my “date” close his grindr app. I didn’t think much of it until our fourth hangout when he showed me some gross guy close by on the app. I’m new to dating guys so maybe this is just how gay dating works. Is this behavior the norm early on when dating? I’m pretty sure I’ve been friend-zoned and didn’t even know it.
Grindr is a sex app. Even if guys are pretending to be on there for friends first, they’re only interested in the way you look and to see if you’re fuckable even as friends. It always ends up turning into sex eventually. If you’re just dating it is a little strange he’s still playing on it. When I’m interested in someone I don’t have an urge to jump on apps like that or even look around. I’m satisfied with what I have. I’m sure there are some that still need that open or crutch to hop on. And it’s likely he’s not doing anything scandalous with it, but just chatting. I’d see how it plays out with him since you’re only in the beginning stages of dating. It’s too soon to be setting boundaries. It does bother you though or you wouldn’t have asked. It has to do with self control in the end. If he’s unable to function through a week without logging in, then he’s got an addiction that may or may not be a problem later on down the line. If I was on a date with a guy and he’s logging onto Grindr with me, then for me personally that’s not the kind of guy I’m looking to date. It may be for other guys and that’s fine. Decide what you’re comfortable and willing to accept now or move on.